David Edward Cooper--

This is me! A bearded and lonely young man who drinks too much and constantly smokes his pipe. Okay so he's not really me, he's merely a representation of one of my many sides. But it's easier to get chicks when I say he's me.

Benjamin Fearn--

He's practically David's younger brother, even though he be older. He is the butt of many jokes, I joke about ragging on Ben, but he's a great guy, and soon a daddy!

Nick Raab--

Nick is the tall cynical bastard who likes to warp children and alienate their parents. Think Milkman Dan without the milk.

Santina Graziosa

Santina is a composite of every every female friend I have. As a charater she is the Italian girl (not the Italian kind but the American kind) who's come to study at glorious ASC.

Jesus H. Christ

SO here's the story, some of who know me know that I had the salmonella a few years ago and after chugging some NyQuil and Pepto (Nasty combo by the way) I saw Jesus and a very sexy lucifer fighting over who got to keep me. I don't know if it was dream or hallucination but I threw him in there for some fun. Worry not for he doesn't show up too much.


Jordan Davis

The afro-ed communist, I haven't really had time to work him into the story yet. He's the ladies' man.